Whenever I hear the phrase, “you are a man,” I chuckle. It’s so cute, isn’t it? I remember using the phrase a lot as an elementary school teacher. Whenever I saw one of my boys crying, every single time I saw any boy crying, (these boys were less than 7years of age mind you), I quickly pulled out that phrase like a never disappointing weapon. Guess what? it worked like fire! And I almost, every single time, reacted with an outburst of laughter. For the young men’s brain seem to reset at that sound and all emotional reasoning disappeared, and behold the tears disappeared.

How does being a man take away pain? I knew deep down the boy still felt the pain, because my magic statement couldn’t have immediately changed him into a robot! He is still in pain but something that happened to the mind, at the sound of that statement, changed the reactions of the children. I want to address this issue from two lights.

First, there is nothing wrong with this statement in itself. Men should not be weak and fragile, If they are, the world is doomed. A man is born to be a leader and a warrior, he needs to understand this even in the face of unpleasantness. This statement should help him go from the past to the future and that is all. When we say “you are a man” to a man of any age, we are waking him up from wallowing in his past and encouraging him to walk with his head tall into a better future. If he doesn’t do this, he becomes weak and fragile and unprepared for the next battle. And you see, life is a conglomeration of battles. He will be eaten raw and that will do nobody no good; not even himself.

This is where that statement goes wrong often: when we tell a man “you are a man” and we mean any of these;
1. Don’t show emotions, that is weakness
2. Don’t cry, that is showing too many emotions.
3. Don’t let pity into your heart, it is for the weak.
4. Don’t show any form of weakness at all, it does not fit you!
5. Don’t ask for help, you should be all-knowing.
I ask again, “is a man then a robot?” Because only a robot can successfully do all the above. Nothing God made, called human should be like that.

I mean Jesus wept! The Son of God, fully human and fully God, wept. And you know what, He did it twice! Once when His friends were in pain and the other time when His Father turned away His face from Him! He was a full-grown man and He cried!!!
These two facts should prove to us all that it is okay for a man to show emotions for others and for himself. Please let’s let men be in peace! They earned the right to show painful emotions because blood runs in their veins. Let’s always remember this when we deal with them because blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy.

We need younger men to be bold enough to ask experts and the older one’s questions when confused (especially about the opposite sex and marriage). If we will have less single mothers and more children raised in good godly homes, our men must be taught irrespective of how old they are. I know they are the head in so many respects, but doesn’t our physical head ask for the hand’s help when it itches? I beg us all, let our men grow healthily.

Disclaimer: And No, I’ve not at any point said being a woman is being weak. God bless us all.

Today, we celebrate the first craft God made with His own hands: I love every male child!


By Yemisi Adeyemi

(This post was originally on Facebook under the title “YOU ARE A MAN, MEN DON’T CRY!!!”)

Photo by Collis from Pexels