I read this article (picture attached) from The Good Man Project, and it struck a chord in me.
I have always opined that romantic Love should be done with the purest of heart and sincerity of intention, void of all kinds of mind games. But it hasn’t always been beneficial. And many people’s experiences have proved it.
While I still hold on to my views, it’s been largely contested these last few years, as a single guy. It’s worse when you’ve once done love with those kinds of principles and had little to show for it, or in some other cases, have had that sincerity taken for granted. You almost want to switch things up.
So I understand that guy or the blog that gave that advice (see the advice in the attached image), but I don’t approve. Many have had to come up with various schemes and methods in a bid to ‘protect’ their hearts and love from being taken for granted.
A while ago, someone told me that once you begin to show interest in or pursue a lady, she begins to move away (play hard to get), even if she had wanted or called for the attention in the first place.
That made me wonder how our minds have been configured. But I couldn’t deny it, because I had experiences to show it had some truth in it.
At other times, I’ve had to wait with my phone, wondering if to call a prospective lady a day after a previous amazing conversation or wait for her to call first, or completely ignore her for days, in order not to look desperate.
These insecurities are not peculiar. They are what many people can relate to.
So, I tell my friends
- Be clear as to what you want.
- Be bold to talk about it as firmly and sincerely as it is.
- Give the other party a clear chance to take their stand.
- And know they have the right to sway with you or decline.
- But never get yourself lost in the midst of emotional complexities.
(And I know it’s easier said than done. But it’s not impossible.)
I learned that from some of my ladies. Two of them will read this.
Their sense of self-worth is just amazing. They are clear about what they want. Yet, not pushy.
Our generation needs to pay a lot of attention to emotional intelligence/maturity. We, somehow, missed the memo growing up.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. ????
Today’s #LoveWednesday buttresses that. Read here