Read 1st part here.…At 21, a man should have had reasonable things to count on
Things he can share with people and celebrate
But here I am
No school accomplishment
Company not established
Gifts not fully explored
Just going around with dreams
as though that is all
Wasting away in the name of sacrificing
While the people themselves are merely using me
An object to gratify their desires
Laughing in my presence and mocking me behind.
And they say I should celebrate
Oh…so out of place.
I have had many tell me and say
“Lekan…you will be great”
If at 21 I’m not great like they said
When yet will the greatness come
At least, there should be convincing elements of.such
But then, am I not beginning to miss something here
Am I not beginning to measure the quality of a man’s life by the standards that prevails?
The abundance of the things he possess?
Am I overwhelmed by the things I’m yet to accomplish
Or am I taunted by my past failures and mistakes?
But still in the midst of all
I realise how much my life has grown
Passing from one phase to another
From stage to stage
How his love had been the centre of my life
How I had only survived on that love
When I had been scared and afraid
When fear tormented my life
When each night meant loneliness
And each morning brought fresh pain
When I detested my very image in the mirror.
When my appearance was a source of pain
When my name I couldn’t call
When it had meant bitterness to me
Days I was left to rot in guilt
Days I was misunderstood
Days sincerity had meant weakness
And a little mistake had meant hell
Brother angry and rejecting me
Father saying words that equalled suicide
Mother comparing me to thugs and touts
Days running away felt like solution
Self injury was working
Alcohol and sex brought prospects
Masturbation found its way and brought relief.
Yet in your Love, Lord, you have kept me
On those lonely nights you brought comfort
Cold nights you brought warmth
Shared a joke and put smiles on my face
Taught and showed me things
Inspired wisdom and shared ideas
How you led me in all my ways
Became my closest
How you gave me direction and purpose
Put love in my heart
Comforting words in my mouth
And love in me
(Written on the 15th of January, 2012)
And the gift of you daughter.
Now, I know that this life is a miracle
A miracle of your love
And everyday, it is worth celebrating.
My heart will sing no other name than
JESUS, JESUS, JESUS….
Thank you Crazy Father
Love you Gentle Son
I hail you Naughty Holy Spirit
Owonikoko Olamilekan Joseph
Creative thinker, Writer, Singer, New-Creation.
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