Day Nineteen.
My first love was amazing.
It was a mix of everything about Love. The good, the not-so-good, and the really bad. It’s difficult to describe it as a painful memory because that will betray all the good moments and things we enjoyed. Yet, an attempt to think of it only in glorious light is a denial of some of the residual pains I still battle with. For some, I didn’t even realize I deserved better until I looked from the outskirts of this city that once housed my passionate heart.
We spent years. Some years of me asking her out while she wasn’t sure. The rest where she retrieved her “yes” annually to review its certainty, sometimes lasting months, and returning it with better conviction, only to repeat the process. It was a ritual. Some will say I “get coconut head, and no dey hear word nor read the signs”. Perhaps, they are right, or it was just the unconditional disposition of love and commitment that betrayed my fragile heart.
However, like all relationships, especially the man-woman relationships, its success is largely dependent on those in it. Together, they can withstand every force that may come against them. But when the linings of our inner wirings are neglected and abandoned to rust, our chances for survival diminish by the day. It’s often only a matter of time, walking corpses eventually find a place to lay their lifeless heads.
Since the end of the relationship, I’ve had many phases pass, I’ve dealt with the pain in different ways. Today, there’s only one way I see it: I had a chance to love, and a gave it all I’ve got and more. I did well. I had a chance to practice the things I’ve admired, desired, preached, and always thought were possible. I’ve learned and will only do better.”
I am theimisiOluwa; I’m looking forward to doing better.
