Hello there! It is another beautiful Monday night of musing. Welcome to PILLOW TALK WITH FLOURISH. I bring to you another thought; a really personal one. Please relax and enjoy the muse.
“You are important to me; I need you to survive” (sing along with me).
We are humans and we really cannot survive alone. We need us. We are social beings because we have been wired to relate with one another. The need to love, be loved, and to be accepted has always been in us. Right from infancy, we started forming a stable bond with our family members and those who cared for us. Moving on, we have amazing relationships with other family members, friends, acquaintances, spouses, etc. And throughout life, our circle of friends keeps changing due to values, location, education, and many other factors. Although, there are some friends who stick close through life. I doff my hat for such persons. You are legends!
For me, one reason my circle of friends may be reshuffled is romance. Hold on, please. That’s the syndrome I want to explain to you.
How do you feel when your friends get to meet the love of their lives? Many of us feel genuinely happy for them. We are happy to see them in love (it is a beautiful sight, you know). It is a pleasant thing for me to know that a male or female friend of mine finds that person they want to live the rest of their life with. I love the concept of love so much because I believe in love. Hence, I will do everything in my power as a friend to see that the relationship thrives.
I am of the opinion that your partner should be your best friend and I am definitely a third party. I need to minimize my involvement in the life of my friend so that they can have ample time to gel and love on each other. In a bid to do this, I have discovered that I unintentionally pull back. It then appears that there is a lag in the friendship with my engaged friends. This does not in any way prevent me from hanging out with them or checking upon them. The bond remains but it is just that the frequency of communication reduces. (I don’t put them away and neither do they).
This syndrome must be one of the reasons I cry when my friends are getting married. The tears are because of the deep deep prayers from the parents, the beauty of wedding ceremonies, the reality of oneness in marriage, the whole emotion of so and so is getting married and because I may not necessarily be at the forefront in their lives. Mind you, it is my joy that the couple should be the first in each other’s life after God. However, somewhere deep in my soul where I cannot readily reach, I feel like we can never be like old times.
As a matter of fact, for female friends, I still hold on to the name I call them before marriage. It takes a really long time before I change their contact on my phone (I have not changed some). I am sure that it is due to the fact that it is a safe place- the old name is a place I can relate with.
They are still very much dear to my heart but I am trying to be careful. You know what I mean, right? Do not call when you shouldn’t or text at odd times like 10 p.m (laughs). We know that no one else should take the place of that special one.
So, my question today is this: how do you manage your relationship with your partner and your other friends OR if you are like me, how have you been able to cope?
I will love to learn from you again. Let us help each other. Do well to send in your comments and contribution to me directly or leave a response here.
I am so grateful for your time with me tonight. By God’s grace, we will meet again on Wednesday for another thought-provoking muse.
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There are conversations that are well beyond the boundaries of ‘pen on paper’. Some heartfelt and straight-up words that provide context to concepts. That’s what this podcast is about. Here are my musings on Love, Life, and Faith as I probe human thoughts and thoughts around these themes. Sometimes, I’m right. Sometimes, I way out of line. And at other times, I’m just as clueless. Trust me, It’s going to be a funny, yet insightful, and inspiring ride. Buckle your seat belts.
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