Dear FutureBae,

Do you remember that day, two years ago, when we just started this our ‘love something’, and you asked me “where are we going with this?” and I was like “Mowe Ibafo”, thinking pe you meant the Guitar I was taking to rehearsal that evening before you clarified that you meant our “relationship”?

Do you remember?

Do you remember my explanation to you that when I, with all the grammatical sagacity I could mutter, yet in the most sublime, sincere, and simplest way, came knocking on the door of your heart, I didn’t come to play, test the ground, or borrow charger? That I came to you with all the intention to be your one, only, and ever will be?

Do you remember?

Do you remember how you asked for some time to think about it?

Do you remember? (Be answering me ó).

Do you remember how a week later, we met, and you told me you feel the same way and want to spend the rest of your life with me too?

Do you remember? Good.

Now, don’t you think it will be a serious act of deception if both of us, just some months to marriage, then connive to deceive ourselves, our friends, and the rest of the world, under the excuse of a proposal party, now acting like I’m proposing to you?

Babe, be sincere, Don’t you think that’s a sin?

So the proposal and proposition earlier proposed will now be disposed of àbí? Babe, let’s not follow the multitude to do this evil thing in the sight of the Lord.

If you want to do ‘patí’ (party, pronounced like an aged Yoruba woman), just say so, instead of this act of confusion.

Now, let’s even say by some happenstance, and show of romance, we decide to follow the multitude to do this evil thing – that is, if after all these years (of dating, talking about our lives, where we would live, the name we will give our pet dogs, the person that will be praying over food at night, what side of the bed we will be sleeping, our goals in life, and even praying together, etc)…I go on one knee (for one reason or the other) and now ask you “will you marry me?”… And you’re now acting surprised like ‘pẹ́pẹ́ye'(duck)
Chai…Ọlọhun gbó, it will pain me gan.
In fact, I’ll be scared.

See, you can be happy, excited, and be smiling.You can even do “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn” like Feyi.
But baby please, don’t even make the mistake of ‘mistakenly’ asking me “Are you Serious? It’s a lie!”
Ó máa dùn mí gan. Kódà, I can say “No” and stand up.

In fact, if after all these years of saying sweet nothings to each other, you don’t know I want to marry you, and I didn’t tell you, and you didn’t ask, then it shows you are not a serious person, just a time-waster. How can we both be inside one ship and not know where we are headed?

So, please, let’s respect ourselves, and the anointing of God upon our lives. Just smile, laugh, and say something like: “Of course, that’s why I’m here. That’s why we’ve been doing this. Like I said before, ama say it again, Yes, I will marry you”

Dear FutureBae, please take heed and consider these words of mine. I just thought you should know.

I am the imisiOluwa; and it’s been a while I wrote to you.

(Disclaimer: I’m not feeling fine o. This is purely a fictional thought. And does not represent the view of the writer in any way. Any coincidences of thoughts shared between the writer and the written words, or any table damaged by these words are deeply regretted.)

Love you Plenty.