A beloved friend of mine said some days ago, and I will just paraphrase here, “sometimes, you get tired of self healing and you just wish someone would heal you instead”. Now isn’t that some food for thought?
Well, for me, it is. It really is. Immediately I read his words, I understood what he was talking about; not only that, I could relate with the pain of being in that situation.
I am a doctor, so automatically, I am in the healing ministry and that means I come in contact with wounded persons everyday. Now when I say wounded, I do not just mean folks wounded in a road traffic accident or a brawl in a bar, I am talking physical, emotional and spiritual wounds!
Take some time to think about that.
Everyday, you come in contact with persons who need healing.
Pause. Think. Meditate.
In our everyday life, we are exposed to traumatic incidents. Talk about words… acerbic words that go down into your very soul and scar you- sometimes for life…talk about attitudes…wrong attitudes that decimate your self esteem and sense of worth…or extreme reactions to your innocent action…
Some folks are so wounded they have learnt to hide a scarred personality behind an exterior cool, calm and collected facade. They go around smiling and you wonder if they just won the lottery
Now, the wounded need a healer…and they will seek one. So we have the option of seeking a healer and this is where the twist in my story comes in.
Naturally, we seek help from those we think are stronger…not necessarily physical strength but strength all the same. Again, sometimes our indices for assessing strength is all muddled up. An example that readily comes to mind is supposing someone has mastered a life principle because they spoke eloquently about the matter!
You will be surprised at how wrong you are.
So we are faced with two realities.
One, we procure healing from someone who is as wounded as we are…or secondly, since we are strong and can’t think of any stronger, we learn to self-heal. Or Do We really?
Simply considering this issue will readily bring to mind the necessity of vulnerability. If we must heal, then we have to be vulnerable enough to admit our own need of healing too either we are saddled with the responsibility of healing others or we assume the self imposed role of the ‘self-healer’.
Consider these two statements:
One, folks are so caught up with their need of healing, they do not have the time to even notice or consider your own need of healing too.
So, what do you do? You speak up! You will be surprised at the response, rather than people getting disappointed when they discover you are not a superman after all but a fellow touched with the feelings of their infirmity.
So, again, be vulnerable enough to reveal your need.
Now to the wounded who need healing, be gracious enough to recognize that ultimately we are all in need of the great physician… And sometimes in his healing art, he employs us in a mutual reciprocity; hence be gracious enough to be unselfish and allow yourself to contribute and not only be a consumer.
To the Self-healer, be realistic enough to admit your need for help and be humble enough to ask for help. Now, you may not get the help you asked for and that may hurt you more, however like the Psychiatrist will tell you, your admission of need for help and going the distance to ask for it may very well be your first important step on your journey to ultimate healing.
So, remember, three words
Vulnerability. Unselfishness. Humility.
© Ayomipo Jeremiah Amiola
Wesley Guild Hospital; Ilesha
29th June, 2016
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