Day Eleven

To the Suicider
And the Suicided
Who endured till the last minute
Till the cup of hope tipped over
Pouring through the sandy floor
Never to be picked up again
“Kaka ke ku maje sese” kind of a thing

I’ve been wondering
What could have caused it?
Who could have caused such pain?
How terrible it must have been?
What words, what experience?
Yet you managed, soaking it all in
No help, no strength, no one
No one to feel how you feel

Honestly, I wish your life was different
I wish you didn’t have to deal with that

But of all this, it’s your humility that amazes me

The humility, the moment of truth
Just as the rope tightened
Just as the poison kicked in
Just as the waters filled your lungs
Just as the ground broke your skull
In that split second, between life and death
As you stepped beyond conscious reality

That moment you fought back
Struggling for your life
Wishing you could take it all back
Wishing you could hold on a little more
Wishing you did differently
Wishing you let Him in, deeper

Such humility is rare
Such humility that is never seen by others
Only by the angels, as you approached Heaven’s gate

But I still choose to appreciate you
For your humility in spite of the letter you left us
For admitting that suicide was never your best option

I am theimisiOluwa;