Choice has always been a problem. Choosing between two alternatives. Yet, even not having a choice brings pain too. One wonders, is this the best I can get? Isn’t there something else out there? Why settle for this?
A lady is not immune to this. She is often confronted with the problem of choice when it is the case that two men, guys, have made propositions to her; as well as when it is only one that has seen her worthy of such honour.
She has a lot to worry about. “It is this guy’s name that she will bear”, ” this guy will determine the course of the rest of her life”, She wonders…. “will this guy not land me in poverty?”, “oh! I don’t want to suffer o!”, “how painful will it be if I later discover the one I rejected has a better future?”, “will I enjoy sex with him?”, “will he always be romantic and caring?”, “I know he seems a good man now, but won’t he one day change…after all, I heard that woman’s and that other woman’s husbands were very good men before they turned a devil”, “oh….divorce, I can’t even think of that”, oh….eh…Jesus help me!”
Are these not some of the many questions on her mind, questions she must find answers to?
Yet the brothers are quick to see her delay as unseriousness and indecision. Aren’t these because she’s a lady; because she is the one to be chosen, not the one to choose?
But does her father leave her to herself to wallow in such confusion? Does he not give her His Spirit that she might recognize her own voice? Yet, she allows herself to be confused. She allows herself to be limited by her own brain. She forgets answers to such questions can’t be found empirically. She forgets to trust and obey.
Of course, she is not supposed to throw all her desires away in the name of God, for God gave them to her, but she is supposed to identify where each desire is founded: in faith or fear, in line with the world’s custom or of a renewed mind.
Hmmm…indeed, it is never easy for her.(…to be continued)
I dedicate this to all my female friends, who are ever so beautiful and precious, Adeola-mis, who have, are, and will be confronted with the need to make a choice of a life partner: Do not say you do not know what to do, or where to go in life and marriage, for inside you is wisdom; inside you is light; only learn to look inward, into him that resides there, for He is not mysterious or far fetched. Let ‘tongues’ lead you into actions, and only walk by faith. For he cares for you.
#IamImisioluwa, and I love you more than words can say.
Enjoy your evening!