Last week, I made a rather intense and heartfelt post (find the original post here: Maybe, Maybe Not), and I had people leave their comments. And I loved what people had to say. It was enlightening, comforting, and real too. Here are a few of them for you to read:
“I will still probably look at it from a woman’s perspective. Somehow, I think the society and the way of the world is a script. You are born at a time and suddenly everything conspires against you to follow the script of that time.
However, there will still be some who will break out of that mold. It is now our choice to choose Sometimes our thoughts are just experiences voicing out and not necessarily what we want it to be. Maybe it is time to just think and say ‘what do I want for myself’. Then go after it. You just might have not met the woman for you. Maybe ‘women’ too. I won’t say its just one male for each female because where then will the not conformist be.”
“Knowing you help me soft-pedal on the judgment. I’ll just tell you this: truth is a woman could have written that. Being taken for granted can happen to anyone. You should remember I speak from my own past experience. I hope that’s not how you feel though. You’ll soon see that there’s one woman who is a wonder like you, made in the female form. (No flattery intended) It’s how I feel about the man I call husband now.”
“Why did you write this? Not that I’m asking why because it’s not good, not heartfelt, or not intense. Because it’s all that. But I got angry. And I was asked by my family member why my face was so tense. That’s what you did.
A man deserves love. You deserve love. No, a woman is not always a taker. And you may be right that it could be a song messing with your head, or your experiences playing with your mind, but men do not figureheads who don’t need to be pampered and paid attention to. Loving a woman is not a thankless job.
I feel so heartbroken- and I know this is last year, but you’ve put the words down there, and everyone who reads it will feel a type of way.
Maybe in friendships, love can be unreciprocated, and maybe even in transactional relationships. Maybe love not returned is a function of the person and not the gender. And maybe you expected too much, given the peculiarities of that/those failed trials. But that is not all there is. And I sincerely hope that your woman comes to you with a glory that will blind all that hurt and send them to a place where they will rest.
In conclusion, before I keep rambling in text, you deserve everything you give a woman- as they are tailored to suit you. It will come, she will come. And you will see. And you will tell people who need to hear it too, that a man can be loved by a woman like he deserves.”
“Kai, Imisi. Kaiiiiiiiii! ??? You captured it so perfectly. Men who have experience with love realize that it is a man’s thing to give and give, and the woman’s to take and take. Maturity comes when a man realizes that a woman can love him, but not the way he loves her. Doesn’t make her love inferior or fake. It just makes it different.”
“Hmmmm…..mixed feelings. I’m angry. I also feel for the man. How can we help the man to receive the love? Some don’t know how to receive love that they give???”
“Eleyi gidi gan o…It’s weighty…What inspired that must be really crazy… The writer feels like it is difficult for his partner to love him with the same measure.
He feels like men are to expect little. It is not his fault really. It is because of the way things have been… It’s sad. (Times and things are changing now though).It is the reality actually.
Many of us ladies pray and desire a man that will love us way more. This does not mean we won’t have so much love for him too.
So he ought to adjust his expectations?
Maybe yes…He should expect to love and be loved in return. He should expect to be loved by his woman in the way he wants to be. No, he should not. His expectations do not appear unrealistic.”
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