I woke up that morning with excitement in my heart. It was on Thursday, the 14th of February 2013. My excitement that morning was not really about the whole ‘Valentine’ idea but that it was another opportunity to show love to the ones that mattered.
The first person that came to my mind was the Lady that had won my heart; and since she just came back from school, combined with the usual silence I enjoy from her during such moments, I wanted her to know I had missed her much.
I picked up my phone, dialed her number that had been perfectly etched on the walls of my memory, and was ready to be welcomed with the same excitement. With the little vocabulary I had gathered in my few years in poetry, I began my rantings. I wasn’t sure of the exact words, but I mentioned something that sounded much like “using the opportunity to let you know I Love you so much”, and ended with a “Happy Valentine’s Day dear, I Love you”. Until then, I didn’t know she had surprises for me. I was just rounding up my poetic declarations when, like a skilled debater, she gave me this lecture, with a tone that had ‘disgust’ writing all over it, on the fact that love should be celebrated everyday and not on Valentine’s day. She said Valentine’s day didn’t make a difference to her.
Instantly, I felt like a sinner. Or like a saint who has since been entangled with the affairs of this world to the extent of conceiving such a thing as ‘Valentine’s Day’ in mind.
I tried explaining myself but the words wouldn’t form quickly.”At least she should have acknowledged my words before the lecture began”, I thought.”She could have, at least, first said ‘thank you’ or something”, I reasoned within me; but then, I guess to her, I was too wrong to have received any acknowledgement. I was embarrassed. I felt insulted.
A part of me vowed never to outer such melancholic words to her again, but then, I remembered the words of my father that reads “Love suffers long…bears all things…” and the yoruba proverb that says “b’ésin bá dáni, se la má n tun gún”.
For the rest of the day, as we met at an event later in the evening, my expressions automatically became retracted, lest I look more foolish than she had made me feel already.
That day was a painful memory.
Today, I’m still standing. Another Valentine’s Day has come and gone and I’m still in Love with her.
I’ve observed: in relationships, there are always clashes of paradigms, perspectives, and differences in modes of expression, but Love is determined by how much we’re willing to GIVE, FORGIVE, AND RE-GIVE. Perfect love does not rest on the ever changing momentary emotions. Perfect Love thrives on the decision to share one’s life in all situation.
Don’t be in a hurry to throw your relationship away under the auspices of such unpleasant moments as mine.
Adeola-mi, we both are not perfect, but all over again, I love you.