Of Christian Brothers and Nails



There are types of nails and they come in different sizes and shapes. Of course, I’m not a carpenter, neither the son of any. I’m only referring to the fear of most men-the fear of rejection, the fear of that ever resounding ‘No’-especially the Christian brother.

Don’t be fooled. Contrary to the world of carpentry, the deadliest nails often come in the most subtle ways.

I know of three types.

Nail One:
When a guy walks up to a lady he barely knows, or a lady he had only made acquaintance with and presents her a convincing proposal like one bidding for a government contract, he knows what to expect, he knows it’s a fifty-fifty chance. His confidence is not in relationship or any pre-achieved mutuality, but in his ability to convince her that he is for real. This gives rise to revelations and narrations, ‘how he was fetching water….’, and a lot of ‘God-saids’. He’s prepared.
When the lady lands him a sudden, immediate, and convincing Nail-No, with attitude, he isn’t utterly embarrassed. He knows the lady can’t be blamed . All he needs is ‘Paracetamol’ tablets and he’ll be fine. He knows he only needs to repackage, and like the retreating ram, to come back better. He could decide to give her time. Or entirely just decide to change course.

Nail Two:
There’s another guy who walks up to his friend. They aren’t too close, but have known each other by reason of frequent contact. He likes her, and he knows she likes him-at least from the way she acts on things concerning him. He’s convinced. He knows it can’t be too bad.
So with a smile on her face, she lets him say all the things in his mouth, looking into his eyes from time to time. This gives him courage to go on. He’s waiting for that moment where she’ll take over the conversation, but all she does is to look at him, smile, look back to the ground, and occasionally, let out a laugh. He isn’t sure if she’s feeling or pitying him, so he braces up and ends up saying more than he intends.
Then she looks up and with a rather straight face and says “I must say that I sincerely appreciate your taking interest in me, and I must also admit that I like you , I like you a lot, But….(at this point his heart is running 60kmph)…I want you to give me time to think about it” and she adds, “I’ll really want you to give me time to make up my mind”, “hope you don’t mind?”
Of course he doesn’t mind, he wouldn’t appear to have been disappointed. He doesn’t admits it’s a Nail-a rejection, after all she really liked him too. He brags to his friends that she has agreed but that she just needs time to say it out. “You need to see how she was blushing”, he adds. Only that Paracetamol tablets doesn’t work for him anymore as his mind begins to race to and fro, thinking of various possibilities. The next few days are the worst. His sleep his stained with excerpts of their conversation, “Maybe I shouldn’t have said that”, “Oh, I should have said this…”. He begins to walk on egg shells around her. He wants to give up but he’s optimistic. Only Panadol extra can suffice this time.

In my opinion, “Let me think about it!” is the second deadliest kind of ‘Nail’ you can get from a girl. Yet, there is one more deadly than these two. (To be continued)

#IamImisioluwa; please don’t ask me if I’ve experienced any of these before.

“To get a Nail (gba iso): is a Nigerian expression which means ‘to get your proposal rejected by a lady”

Love you Plenty.

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